Photo Shoot

Today my mom and I organized a photo shoot for the babies.  We then took the pictures to Blacks and had the best ones printed.  Talk about efficient!  That's pretty much all we got done, but I'm still counting it as a productive day.  We also went to Erin's and visited with baby Addison.  If it were not for the moments during each day that I am unable to console 2 screaming babies I would want to stay on maternity leave forever.

Super Josie

Jane and I went to a lactation consultant yesterday for a variety of reasons

1) my mastitis.  She said that if it doesn't clear up within 5 days to go back to my dr.  The lump is finally shrinking today!

2) To check their weight.  James is now 10 lbs 2 oz and Josie is 7 lbs 8 oz.  they have both doubled their birth weight!

3) To get James weened off the nipple shield.  Got some good tips, I'm still working on it.

4) to talk about Josie's puking.  The LC showed me how to hold the bottle so that the nipple is only half full.  This way she can't get too much milk at once.  We've been trying this all day today and IT WORKED!  Josie hasn't puked in over 24 hours!!! This is a new record for her.

  I was too busy to take pictures today (this is the only one I took) but I'll try to get a few tmrw and Friday.  I am itching to do another little photoshoot with them.  But check out this picture - do I not have the best mom ever?  

On the mend

I feel a million times better today.  This is partially because my fever broke this morning, but mostly because I got to spend the day with Pat.  We had a great day and the babies were really good.  Pat, by the way, is awesome with babies.  He even took care of both of them for a bit while I pumped!

Health wise I think I'm over the worst of the infection. I have no more chills, sweats or headaches.  I do however still have a plum sized blocked duct.  Yeah, it's really big and still pretty sore.  I am going to see a lactation consultant tomorrow just to make sure that it's not getting worse and to ask about Josie.  She pukes so much that I worry she isn't getting enough to eat and isn't gaining enough weight.  I'm probably just being a paranoid first time mom but better safe than sorry right.  

Out of commission

So I have developed mastitis which is a bacterial infection caused by a blocked milk duct.  The blocked duct is painful but is nothing compared to the fever, headache, chills, sweats and exhaustion caused by the infection. Thankfully, on the advice of my cousin Caitlin, I noticed myself getting a fever so I went to the dr right away and was put on antibiotics.  

It should clear up in a few days.  

Brian has been amazing all weekend often taking care of both babies so that I could sleep.  We also had great help from Dave and Jane everyday this weekend!  

Today the twins were introduced to their extended Allen family at our first ever Painting Party.  Josie slept in her car seat the whole time and James slept in the carrier with me while I painted.  It was a lot of fun and I'm glad that JJ has now met lots of their extended family.  The highlight of the day was Caitlin and Rob's son Finn.  He was so interested in the babies and wanted to give them kisses and touch them.  He even let then play with his cars.  It was so cute!

Above is the twins having a nap with mommy.  Below is the twins playing on their mat.  Josie had puked on all her clothes so she is wearing one of James' sleepers. They are both wearing little wrist raddles.  James especially liked them.

Mommy and Baby group

JJ and I went to 2 baby sing a long groups this week.  Addy and Erin came with us today and we agreed that we like the dynamic of the Friday group better, not to mention that it is a lot closer to home! It has been a long and rather stressful few days so I am looking forward to a quiet, relaxing weekend with my little loves.  

As for an update on JJ.  They continue to sleep really well at night (hallelujah).  Some nights they will start with as much as 5 hours of sleep and they have been really good at going right to sleep after eating in the middle of the night which is such a blessing for us.  On the flip side, they are awake a lot more during the day, especially in the afternoons. It continues to be a challenge to keep them entertained and fed when I am by myself and the 3 of us have had some good cries.  Thankfully I have the daycare at the gym a few mornings a week to give me some "me time" and my moms help a few times a week to keep me afloat.

At the moms and babies group I am awed by how much the older babies are capable of.  I can't believe that in a few months my babies will crawl and giggle.  I already feel like they are growing up to fast.  They are smiling at us more and more and they are really following our faces as we talk to them.  They are also starting to grasp things that we dangle in front of them and are learning to content themselves when they are awake.  

I  am very grateful for the love and support of my family and friends and we all watch these little miracle babies grow.  

Too many cute pictures

I am obsessed with taking pictures of these adorable babies!

Just finished their bottle.  Josie is asleep and James appears to be unimpressed by having to be cuddled so close to his sister.

Isn't she the cutest

Asleep on the change table after his diaper change.

I haven't put him in this one because it has no feet but I though he looked like a little jail bird so I had to take a picture.  

Our first winter walk

It is a gorgeous day at the cottage so we decided to take the babies outside for a walk/ski.  The babies both slept the entire time.  

Family Day Weekend

We are having a great Family Day weekend with our wonderful family.  The twins have been great all weekend and love that they have so many people who want to hold them.

Day 67 - hand-me-downs

I I had to take this picture because James is in one of his cousin Emily's hand-me-down sleepers (today is valentines day not Halloween) and Josie is in a sleeper than James has outgrown (I only let her wear it around the house so that strangers won't get confused but why shouldn't little girls get outfits with planes on them).  We are going to Brian's school today so I will change them into nice outfits for that but in the meantime we are snuggled up at home.  

Day 65 - so much support

It's 3 AM and I just finished pumping after feeding the babies.  The babies who just slept for 4 hours I might add!  Yesterday was much better.  The twins were awake a lot of the day but I had lots of help because Brian was home sick (we did give him time off to sleep too) and my mom is here.  It is so great having her here during the day.   Not just because it is an extra set of baby cuddling hands and because she shares my impulse to not sit still which translates into baby laundry and kitchen cleaning being done, but because we get to have great adult conversations all day!  

My pity party post from last night was not intended as a cry for help , but rather a chance for me to acknowledge how I am feeling and be able to recall the high and low points when I look back at this.  That said, I am so touched by the wonderful friends and family who have reached out to offer support. 

Although I wish it was easy for all of us it is great to hear from my mom friends who have been there and can promise that it does get easier.  Hallelujah!

I am blessed to have beautiful healthy babies.  They had their two month Dr. appt today and are both perfectly healthy.  James is now almost 9.5 lbs and Josie is 7 lbs!  They also had their first immunizations. They both screemed for the injections, and James puked after his oral vaccine, but settled down okay once they were back home and being cuddled.  They are also meeting most of their milestones for 2 months old.  They can both hold their heads up ( although Josie often chooses to sleep during tummy time), they are feeding well, they recognize and follow my voice and they are easily comforted.  The only achievements they haven't made is that they do not coo or gurgle ( yep that's a milestone) and that I am not able to recognize different cries for when they are tired, hungry, etc.  This second one is my fault.  To be honest I can't even tell which baby is crying let alone why, but that will come.  

I am also blessed to have a wonderful family, and amazing friends.  It's a rollercoaster this parenting thing but it is great to know that I'm not riding it alone. 

  

Day 64 - my old life

Today was a really rough day.  The twins got onto slightly different eating schedules in the morning (because I was feeding them individually rather than trying to juggle feeding them at the same time).  We did get out of the house to go to a lunch at the church but I had to leave early because both babies were fussy.  This fussiness continued once I got home.  My mom was supposed to be here In the afternoon but she got held up helping Heather and Scott with their cottage.  As a result I tried, and mostly failed, to calm two fussy babies by myself for 3 hours in the afternoon until Marsha got home at 5.  Brian had a meeting at the church tonight so bedtime was also a challenge and it took me over 3 hours to get both babies to fall asleep (I did have my moms help for the first hour and a half).

I feel terrible to admit it but today I really missed my old life before babies.  I missed being on my own schedule; having my free time to work out, relax and hang out with friends when I wanted.  Lately I feel like I spend most of my time trying to sooth one or both crying babies and it is exhausting and very lonely.  Being a mom is great, don't get me wrong.  I would give up my life for these babies and despite being miserable I will spend all my hours doting on them if need be.  But I can't help but feel incapable of coping and also mad at the world for not preparing me for how hard this is.  I know it will get better.  They will sleep through the night eventually.  (Brian is sick so this picture is my attemp at tandem feeding by myself at 4 am).  I know that soon I will better understand what their cries mean and will be better able to meet their needs.  I know that soon they will be able to show me that they love me by cuddling me back.  I know that all of this is coming but it does little to comfort me at 5 am while I rock a baby that refuses to sleep anywhere but in my arms while I pray desperately that the other one stirring in the crib beside me does not wake back up again.   

Well that's the end of my pity party.  I hope that I have better news to report tomorrow.  

Day 63 - Happy 2 month Birthday JJ

The twins are 2 months old!  This has the the fastest and slowest 2 months of my life.  The babies are doing great.  They are sleeping well throughout the night and now go 4 hours between night feeds!  They are staying awake more during the day and are slowly becoming more interactive.  Josie has even started to smile at us -Brian especially.   

Day 60 - Babies World

Today James, Josie and Addison attended their first baby class at the George Hull Centre.  It was called Babies World and featured a variety of songs and a chance for the moms to chat and the babies to play.  James and Josie were a little fussy but I think they enjoyed the songs.  I enjoyed getting to meet other moms and too see lots of older babies.  

Yesterday I took the babies to see a lactation consultant and had them weighed.  James is now a whopping 8 lbs 15 oz and Josie is a dainty little 6 lbs 12.5 oz.  It might seem like Josie isn't growing enough but in fact she is growing at a typical rate for a baby.  James on the other hand is growing at twice the typical rate which is why he is now over 2 lbs bigger than his sister.

  

JJ also had lunch with their great-grandmother yesterday.  They are very lucky babies to have grandparents and a great-grandparent that loves them so much.  

On Thursdsay night Brian and I had planned on waking the babies up a little early to give them a bath before bed.  When I came upstairs this is what I found.  Obviously I couldn't wake all three of them up early so I let them sleep.  All three of them ended up sleeping for another 2 hours!

The week is done which means that I survived my first week without any help during the day.  It was very challenging at times but I survived!

Day 58 - snow day

The twins are now 8 weeks old!  The snowstorm kept us inside all day so we decided to play dress up.  I am so in love with these little monkeys!

Pirates!

Super Josie

Are they not the cutest babies ever?