Day 64 - my old life

Today was a really rough day.  The twins got onto slightly different eating schedules in the morning (because I was feeding them individually rather than trying to juggle feeding them at the same time).  We did get out of the house to go to a lunch at the church but I had to leave early because both babies were fussy.  This fussiness continued once I got home.  My mom was supposed to be here In the afternoon but she got held up helping Heather and Scott with their cottage.  As a result I tried, and mostly failed, to calm two fussy babies by myself for 3 hours in the afternoon until Marsha got home at 5.  Brian had a meeting at the church tonight so bedtime was also a challenge and it took me over 3 hours to get both babies to fall asleep (I did have my moms help for the first hour and a half).

I feel terrible to admit it but today I really missed my old life before babies.  I missed being on my own schedule; having my free time to work out, relax and hang out with friends when I wanted.  Lately I feel like I spend most of my time trying to sooth one or both crying babies and it is exhausting and very lonely.  Being a mom is great, don't get me wrong.  I would give up my life for these babies and despite being miserable I will spend all my hours doting on them if need be.  But I can't help but feel incapable of coping and also mad at the world for not preparing me for how hard this is.  I know it will get better.  They will sleep through the night eventually.  (Brian is sick so this picture is my attemp at tandem feeding by myself at 4 am).  I know that soon I will better understand what their cries mean and will be better able to meet their needs.  I know that soon they will be able to show me that they love me by cuddling me back.  I know that all of this is coming but it does little to comfort me at 5 am while I rock a baby that refuses to sleep anywhere but in my arms while I pray desperately that the other one stirring in the crib beside me does not wake back up again.   

Well that's the end of my pity party.  I hope that I have better news to report tomorrow.  

Day 63 - Happy 2 month Birthday JJ

The twins are 2 months old!  This has the the fastest and slowest 2 months of my life.  The babies are doing great.  They are sleeping well throughout the night and now go 4 hours between night feeds!  They are staying awake more during the day and are slowly becoming more interactive.  Josie has even started to smile at us -Brian especially.   

Day 60 - Babies World

Today James, Josie and Addison attended their first baby class at the George Hull Centre.  It was called Babies World and featured a variety of songs and a chance for the moms to chat and the babies to play.  James and Josie were a little fussy but I think they enjoyed the songs.  I enjoyed getting to meet other moms and too see lots of older babies.  

Yesterday I took the babies to see a lactation consultant and had them weighed.  James is now a whopping 8 lbs 15 oz and Josie is a dainty little 6 lbs 12.5 oz.  It might seem like Josie isn't growing enough but in fact she is growing at a typical rate for a baby.  James on the other hand is growing at twice the typical rate which is why he is now over 2 lbs bigger than his sister.

  

JJ also had lunch with their great-grandmother yesterday.  They are very lucky babies to have grandparents and a great-grandparent that loves them so much.  

On Thursdsay night Brian and I had planned on waking the babies up a little early to give them a bath before bed.  When I came upstairs this is what I found.  Obviously I couldn't wake all three of them up early so I let them sleep.  All three of them ended up sleeping for another 2 hours!

The week is done which means that I survived my first week without any help during the day.  It was very challenging at times but I survived!

Day 58 - snow day

The twins are now 8 weeks old!  The snowstorm kept us inside all day so we decided to play dress up.  I am so in love with these little monkeys!

Pirates!

Super Josie

Are they not the cutest babies ever?

Day 57 Getting so big

I took this picture with Josie today because I realized that she is not going to fit in the crook of my arm for much longer.  She is the sweetest little girl and I just love carrying her around with me and snuggling with her on my chest.  It makes me sad knowing that she is already 8 weeks old.  I wish she would stay this small and precious forever.

I got James some big boy clothes yesterday.  I love dressing him up too.

We had a pretty great day today.  We stayed in and got lots done around the house and had lots of time to cuddle together.  I was also able to make dinner and had a great visit with Erin, Scott, Addison and Mary Lou.  I love having Addison over, even though Brian was hogging her today.  I also had a special helper at bath time.  Marsha was kind enough to let Brian sleep for the evening.  I am sure he is very grateful!

Today I was also able to make my first breast milk donation, just 30 oz. to a friend who just had a baby.  On Friday I will be donating 200 oz. of frozen milk to the daughter of a couple from our church who had twins via serogate and thus could not produce her own milk. For whatever reason I have been blessed with more milk then my babies need, which is impressive considering I have twins.  It makes me feel great getting to donate it to other moms and their babies.  

Now, if I only I could get these babies to sleep.  

Day 55 - photo shoot with Addy!

Little girl clothes are adorable, especially when they are worn by Josie and Addy.  I had some fun today dressing up my little monkeys and my beautiful niece.  

Day 54 - Date night

Thanks to the greatest in-laws in the world Brian and went in a date on Saturday night.  We went out for dinner and then saw the Wolf of Wall Street.  It was great to have some time alone just the two of us, and I know that James and Josie loved spending the night with their grandma and grandpa.